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It seems that my husband does not want to have sex with me after his affair

I sometimes hear of wives who are devastated not only by their husband’s infidelity or affair, but also by the loss of intimacy and physical contact. For whatever reason, sex has been taken off the table. So at a time when a wife is already hurt and confused, she is now struggling with the fact that she cannot be assured of intimacy. This leaves her wondering if her husband is still attracted to her sexually and if their marriage will be able to recover or not.

She might say, “My husband had an affair about two months ago. At first, I didn’t even talk to him. At the end, I allowed him to come see the children, and little by little we started talking again. I can say that feels very guilty and ashamed. He does his best to be accommodating and kind to me. He has told me that although he would like to stay married and would never cheat on me again, he cannot ask me to stay with him because he does not know if he could stay with me if He was cheating on him. He’s basically saying that he wouldn’t blame me if I refused to accept it. I told him that I am I will take my time to make a decision. But until this week, I was really considering it. However, last weekend, the The kids and I watched a movie with my husband and fell asleep. My husband and I ended up talking and laughing. One thing led to another and in no time we were kissing. When things were about to get intimate, my husband was pushed aside and said: x contig or right now. ‘ I was stunned, so I asked him, ‘Can’t you or can’t you?’ He got up and said, “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I have no idea what to make of this. I have tried to ask him about this, but he always changes the subject. Aren’t you attracted to me? Are you unable to physically complete the task due to the adventure? I want to save my marriage, but I also want to have a healthy sex life again one day. Why couldn’t a man have sex with his wife after the affair? “

I can’t speak for your husband, but I suspect it’s not that he can’t have sex with you. I suspect you could have completed the task if you felt good about it. However, many men feel a bit of guilt and shame after the affair. So they know that having sex again can create a great deal of discomfort and negative feelings. For one thing, they may really want to have sex with you. But they are ashamed of this desire because they feel that they have no right to ask this of you. Also, they know that when you get naked and start having sex, you may both get caught up in thoughts of him having sex with someone else, as that injury is very recent. The thought of this might terrify you. And you might think it’s better to wait to have sex than to try it now and make it a mess. Also, you might not want it to seem like he’s only interested in having sex with you when he doesn’t really deserve it.

I know this is painful and may seem like a rejection, but let’s look at the facts. You and your husband were having a nice and joyful time laughing together. He was clearly in on it when he was kissing you. And then something changed. Since he told you that he would like to save your marriage, I highly doubt that he is not attracted to you. In fact, I’m sure it was tempting to have sex. However, he was probably trying to avoid a potentially embarrassing or awkward encounter. And maybe he didn’t want you to feel taken advantage of in the morning or he didn’t want you to feel guilty.

Many couples delay sex after an affair for a couple of different reasons. They want to make sure the time is right. They don’t want to rush into it and potentially cause bigger problems than they already had. Many know that if sex was uncomfortable and just not good, then they would take that to mean that their marriage was doomed. Then they wait until they are sure it will be okay, because they know they are going to analyze it.

Your husband could have the same thought process. You may want to wait until you are both sure that the time is right. You may not want to look like the scoundrel who is pressuring your wife to have sex after your affair. And you probably know that both of you can have thoughts about adventure during sex. All of these reasons are why it can really make sense to wait.

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