Parenting during Covid, the method to find a new path
This article continues into the article titled Parenting During Covid with more details on how to keep kids away from video games and lead them to a more productive and happy life.
This article will also help many adults.
In the section THE CHILD’S POINT OF VIEWI explained to him how the child will feel and what their thoughts are, even if they do not realize it because it comes from the core nature of the human being and not from the personality, and how they will deal with the current situation.
I will assume you have followed the instructions in the section; THE METHOD TO FIND YOUR CHARACTER AND YOUR CHILD’Sand you have found the things that you or your child liked to do.
Having discovered whether the child liked to draw, build things, read books and learn new things, explore and be active playing physical games or things with the mind, enjoyed music and danced, or did not like music. but they preferred to play in the garden, they will have limited the type of things that they liked.
It is quite easy to know if they loved and had a talent for music or drawing, and I mean a real talent, not just the opinion of the parents, which is usually deaf.
If they liked to build things, then an interest in architecture or building things as an engineer or any other trade would be suitable. I know a Hungarian Jew who came to Canada from the concentration camp, he could not speak a word of English or French and did not have a penny upon arrival. He got a job as a construction worker, helping a house painter. I’ll cut down on the hour he died, worth over $ 50 million as a major developer. I tell you this true story to make it clear that you should not reject anything because you believe that there is no money or future in it. Everything can be expanded.
One of my students was a corporate professional and he hated his life. She quit and moved away from her home. Lost and confused, she came to my school and had no idea what to do with her life. Using this method, we discovered that he loved playing drums. But how are you going to earn a living playing drums?
Digging a bit deeper, we found out that she liked being a cheerleader, so after a little time playing around with different ideas, she eventually became a clown and ballerina teacher to children and the elderly.
She now and for the last 20 years has had a very successful career, educating, acting, acting in many TV shows and movies, and has had a positive influence on perhaps thousands of lives by building bridges between cultures and families, and earning the life. Also, all because as a child she loved to play the drums.
The fear of what her parents would say kept her stagnant for a couple of years before hitting the road that was right for her; “You want to leave a successful, high-paying corporate career to do WHAT ???”
I implore all parents not to let their child waste precious years of his life. And I implore you, don’t waste the rest of your remaining life.
CONTINUE THE SEARCH
As you can see, even the simplest childhood game can be the key to a successful life. The problem with children now is that they are not encouraged to find and do what their true love is, and they feel totally alone.
Do the exercise again, do it harder, deeper, with a more open mind to everything you like, and remember that a child does not know that there are Arab, African, Turkish or any drummer. They will hit the pots and pans. Instead of yelling at your child for damaging his pots and pans and making noise, open your mind to see what he is trying to do and not what you see.
You see a pot, the child sees something with which he can make noise. They have no fixed opinions on what a thing is. If you take a large enough pot and put it on the floor upside down, it’s a chair or stool so you can reach the counter and grab the cookies.
This is the quality of creativity, invention, and problem solving. See what something can be used for, rather than just what they tell you it should be used for.
THE PROBLEM OF ADULTS
You have lost your creativity instead of a fixed opinion on everything. If you have to write something quickly and you don’t have a pen, but you do have a women’s eyeliner handy, use it. It is not an eyeliner, it is something you can write or draw with.
Start seeing things as things and not under the definition of what you call it and use it alone. See everything as if you’ve never seen it before and have no idea what it is, and then think about what you can do with it.
That’s the power of a child’s mind that adults have lost, and when you lost it, you lost your spark of creativity and the vast potential of life. When that died, life began to take a dark and narrow path. This is how the toddler, preteen, or young teenager feels when told; “NO NO NO, that’s not what you do with that thing.”
So, having accepted that creativity is a bad thing because when you tried it you were knocked down, the exploring and creative mind is ignored, but not dead, at least not yet. Then the hunger of that mind tells the conscience; “Find a way to be creative and free so you can live again!”
And again, we see why children love video games and ignore or disrespect their parents.
RESURRECT YOUR CREATIVITY
This exercise can be done to whatever grade you have the ability to do, which means with 5, 10, or 100 items, do what you can.
Since I was a preteen, I didn’t have parents who supported my creativity in any way, so I read the yellow pages. For those of you who don’t know what that is, long ago before the internet, there was a great book that listed all the businesses in a city, organized by business type. That book was a ‘Google’ of everything that could be done. I read the index to that book, because it listed everything, so I could get ideas of what I liked.
The exercise I propose is practical. Put as many different things as you can in a room. What you choose depends on the age of your child, but don’t discount anything based on gender. Some of the great cooks are men, so don’t think cooking and cooking are just for girls, and there are some great pilots, so don’t discount mechanical stuff as a boy thing.
Paintings and things to draw, lego, things to build, musical instruments, dolls, kitchen things to play around the house, broken gadgets like a toaster or a small mechanical device to see if they can be fixed or taken apart to see how they work, binoculars to observe nature, telescope to see the stars, the list is endless, really endless. The more things you have in that room, the better.
Let the child go crazy, without any guidance or comment on your part, so that he can do whatever he wants. In fact, if the parents aren’t there to show their approval or disapproval, all the better. But someone has to be there to cheer and play with the child, and if there are some children to get together, that is much more effective too.
Let them play and do whatever they want, then talk to them to find out what they liked and why, to see what you can cut down on. If, for example, the child likes musical instruments or takes something in the room to make noise, which is a children’s symphony, take the exercise to the next stage.
Repeat it but this time with a variety of elements more focused in that direction. Drums, guitar, piano, etc.
Eventually, something will show up, and now it’s up to the parents to determine their child’s future. Do you remember that the previous article was about the 10-year-old boy who loved to draw and cook? Let me tell you how that turned out.
His mother said she will stop some of the intellectual tuition and put him in an art class after school. That made him so excited that the mother said she had never seen him so happy. A couple of days later, the boy told his mother that he didn’t want to go to art class and that he would keep the math tuition.
What happened? Why would the boy choose something he hated over what he loved? The boy’s father had abandoned the family when the boy was so young that he never met his father. His mother is all he had and he loved her so much that he would do anything to please her. Unfortunately, he felt that his mother wanted him to do better in math and so he gave up his happiness to make her happy.
Let this be a warning to you about how you respond, interact, and encourage your child. Let it spark memories of when you were a child too.
Find the natural character of your child.
Find your natural character.
Encourage your child to find what he loves to do with a sincere heart and a love that cares for him, not you.
Just remember when you got pregnant or wanted to have a child, YOU brought that child into this world. Did you want to have a slave and a servant to take care of you when you were old? Or do you have a responsibility to raise that helpless little creature to have a happy life in this difficult world?
Be their friend by experiencing the life they are living from their point of view. Give up all the things you ‘know’ and start to see what you are missing by being creative and seeing the world and everything in it as if you were an alien on this strange planet that looks very horrible and gets a lot worse with not being able to earn the money you need to live, not being able to travel, not being able to see your friends, not being able to visit your family, to face a future of being totally alone.
Socialize more, as much as possible. Don’t let the government destroy your child’s emotional development any more than it already has. Don’t let the damage continue and get worse.
Get organized to be with your friends, have your kids play with each other, set up a computer game room if that’s what it takes, so they play sitting close to each other.
Find ways to get children to play with each other, talk, laugh, invent, and create imaginary worlds they would like to live in. Take every imaginary invention that comes to mind and discover how it might be the best option, a new product, service or invention.
If you can’t figure it out yourself, form a club of parents and professionals in every field you can; architect, engineer, mathematician, artists, musician, film producer, sports addict, entrepreneur, and see what each of them can think of. Someone will ‘click’ on this ‘silly and childish idea’ and see how it can be turned into a new business or product.
I have owned businesses in over 20 different industries and have consulted over 100 because I can turn any idea into something practical. That is what you should do for your child. Give them hope that there is a future and someone who knows how and what to do to make them valuable.
Regardless of age, what we all want is a partner, be it an adult relationship or the friendship of a child, someone with whom we can be in the same room and not have to talk, but have someone there, just because it is comforting. have someone there. That comfort is an emotional nourishment that we need at all ages of our life.
When someone says they like to be alone, it is only to deal with the pain of feeling like they have no other choice. Give them an option that fits what they want, not what you think is best, because often that’s just what you want.