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The 3 Stages of Texting a Girl – A Guide for PUAs and Regular Guys Too

So you have his number. And you have a beautiful memory of your first meeting. Many smiles, seductive looks and a great connection. She seemed to really like you and you completely captivated her.

And now is the time to continue that connection and seduction with texts, to get it right and set up the first date. This is where most guys run into trouble and often mess it up. Where she just doesn’t respond or starts putting off meeting you. Somehow, due to bad text messages, the spark just went away;

“But why?!” These guys wonder in vain. “We got along so well! What happened?”

It just so happens that after that first interaction, his emotions were running high and he remembered you very well. But as time went by, she went on with her life and did a lot of things and if your first text isn’t as strong, she won’t be able to find and re-feel those first emotions that she felt with you, and if that happens, she won. . I won’t feel the need to meet you again.

But fear not my friend! There are a few key and simple rules to follow with texting that will bring back the emotions and attraction to you, and ensure that you meet up for a date. Before we get down to business, here’s one essential thing to remember with texts;

The complexity of the texts

With texts you have to choose your words very carefully, because that’s all you have – Words. 7% of communication is words, 38% is the tone of your voice and 55% is your body language. So in person or even on the phone, you are much more powerful in your communication.

Never think that texting can be compared to that personal interaction: the whole point of texting is to remind her of the fun energy and attraction you had, and then work towards getting her on that date. All the while creating that air of joy, teasing, and not need.

Never try to establish a relationship through text or carry on a deeper conversation. Without your eyes, your voice and your body behind you, you will not be creating attraction.

But what you can do with texting is tease her, turn her on a little, and set up that first date. Without further ado, here are the 3 stages of effective texting;

Stage 1: The first text

Your first text is very important. Make it loud, playful, and try to remind him of the attraction and emotions he felt in that first interaction.

Send it an hour or two after meeting you. Just when she’s starting to forget about meeting her. Boom, you text and all those feelings come back.

Don’t ask for a date here, we’re just making a connection and being a little cheeky, playful, fun.

It’s best to bring a joke that you both shared, perhaps in your nickname or elsewhere in the text. If you were joking about how she’s dressed in one color, say; “Hey, lady in yellow,…” if she loves French movies tell her; “Hello Amelia…”

And then just a short, smug, funny hello. That is all. Here is a great example from Tom Torero; “Hey sunbather Sophie, random but great to meet you. Are you always so friendly to new people or was it blue skies? Tom”

And here’s a more cocky and funny one from Gareth Jones (my personal favorite); “Hello, I’m Gareth. Save this number, it’s the most important you’ll ever get” (with a winning face at the end).

If she responds, great. Have a little chat, 2/3 texts, no more. So she say I have to go, chat soon. No need to go overboard here, just keep the pressure low, casual and friendly. She will be delighted with the playful, confident, yet relaxed attitude.

If he doesn’t respond, you can send him a playful reminder text 1-2 days later; “That’s it, we’re getting a divorce. Call your lawyer, you can keep the cat.” Or something like that. “Hmmm, my mom warned me about girls like you…” Or you can just ping her in stage two;

Stage 2: Ping Texts

A general rule of thumb is that it is good to keep in touch every other day or every 3 days. To keep in mind. So, two days after the initial meeting and text message, send him a funny ping message like these;

“Hey, I just stopped by Starbucks and thought of you. Enjoying the sun today?” “I just saw a cat that looks like you.” “In a park with a coffee and a good book.” “I just saw something that reminded me of you… wow” “Quick question, red or white wine?”

These are called ping texts, and they are beautiful.

Usually you don’t ask them a question and you don’t ask them to go on the date you talked about. But you’re sending her an interesting, no-pressure text that she’ll respond to.

When she answers, then you can joke around a bit;

Stage 3: set the date

A great way to prepare for a date is to think about what he likes, from your first interaction. It’s always a good idea to find out these things. So if she loves art, you’ll want to meet her at or near an art gallery. If she likes sushi, think of a great sushi place, if she’s an actress, think of something related to acting, etc.

Then when you suggest it, say it like this; “They’re showing a fantastic exhibition at the Tate Modern by the river, is that okay with you?” or “I know of an amazing sushi place in Soho. It has the freshest fish, a Michelin-starred chef from Tokyo, and a cool, quirky vibe. Sound good to you?”

When he says that sounds good, to set up a date and time, ask him when he’ll be free next week. Or just say; “Great, which is better for you, Wednesday or Friday afternoon?” Giving choice is better. Don’t ask yes/no questions. I have to give Gareth Jones all the credit for this style of dating, which has worked wonders for me and you too.

You see here that because you’re choosing something that she loves and would love to see, she’s inclined to say yes. You are showing that you were paying attention to her and that you already understand her quite well. You’re also offering her the date in a way that doesn’t give her a chance to think and resist: it’s all so smooth and enticing, as the whole seduction process should be. And there are your three stages of awesome texting!

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