“My parents hated each other,” Anna said quietly, “but they never got divorced.” She could feel the pain pounding deep in Anna’s heart, rising from her soul in cold waves. As I mentally blessed Anna and asked my guides to help me assist her, a presence identifying itself as Anna’s father intervened. There was a restless energy around her, as if she was trying to block something out. Was her message from him filled with anger, and if so, would Anna be hurt to hear from him? Should she censor her words? I thought. No, Anna had a right to hear from her father’s spirit, if that’s what she really wanted. So I started the session by asking, “Anna, do you want to know everything?”
Ask “Do you want to know everything?” It’s a technique I learned from the English medium Lisa Williams. When I work one-on-one with a client, asking that question takes away the responsibility of editing the words of the spirit. I was energized using salty language, and a couple of female spirits identified themselves to their husbands using descriptions more apt to Playboy magazine. Because I didn’t edit the words of the spirits, clients were always able to identify the presence.
Anna looked at the ground for a moment before answering, “Yes.”
In my mind, I asked the spirit to come closer to me. “He calls himself ‘father’. He has scars on his arms. He feels like a gruff man. He shows me a belt. And now he throws it away. Do you understand this?”
Anne’s eyes filled with tears. “Yes,” she said, reaching for the tissue box on my desk. “Oh yeah.”
I felt Anna’s sadness inside me. “She is bringing another spirit. This motherly energy is softer. She feels tired. I see her lying on the bed. She wants to thank you for the roses.”
Anna looked puzzled. “What is she doing with him? They couldn’t stand each other. They stayed together because they were so religious, the only thing worse than staying married was getting divorced.” In a low voice, she added, “He was a brute. He made our lives miserable.”
Anna’s father spoke to me, and I repeated his thoughts: “He’s sorry for the way he acted. It was the way he was raised in the old country. Family men were expected to be harsh and punishing. He’s asking for forgiveness.”
“Enough!” Ana said angrily. “Am I supposed to forgive him and everything will be fine? Because of him, I’ve had three bad marriages. It’s his fault that my life is so horrible!” Her teeth shot out. “No way no way!”
Instantly, I no longer felt the spirits of Anna’s parents.
I closed my eyes and lit the room with white light to help clear the negativity. Then I opened a drawer in my desk and pulled out my list of references: phone numbers, websites, and reputable counselors who offer services I’m not qualified to do. I keep the list because I have another rule, thanks again to Lisa Williams: never let a client leave emotionally distraught. And my rule: always give hope to the client.
I gently recommended that Anna speak with a trusted therapist who specializes in anger management and family dynamics. Anna reluctantly wrote the woman’s phone number on a piece of paper, then left my office in silence.
As I reflected on the session, I wondered if it would be better than telling Anna all about her father. Spirit whispered to me that sometimes the only way people can move forward is to listen to what is keeping them from enjoying life. Anna has her own journey, just like we all have our unique paths to walk. And the spirit walks with us and encourages us to walk towards the light of grace.