It’s the most common request a speech coach gets: “Can you help me not to get nervous in front of an audience?” And the honest answer is, “No.” Famous singers Rihanna, Beyonce and Harry Styles admit to a level of nervousness that makes them physically ill. Adele once said: “At a concert in Amsterdam, I was so nervous that I escaped through the fire escape.” Actress Emma Watson has described it as “a kind of paralysis”.

So if professional artists suffer from anxiety like this, what hope is there for the rest of us? Do not despair. While it may be impossible to eliminate nervousness, it can transform ‘bad’ nerves into ‘good’ nerves. Here are some tips I’ve used for over thirty years of training so I know they work.

1. Stop trying to avoid the inevitable

Just before they go on stage, most speakers have their heads full of unrealistic wishes, dreams that are destined to fade. They hope not to have a ‘blank mind’ or lose their way. They probably will, then spend the rest of your presentation lamenting it. Instead, they should remember these facts:

• Most blanks last less than two seconds (although it seems much longer when you’re up there). This means most audience members won’t even notice it, or if they do, they’ll think you’re pausing for effect.

• Reviewing your notes to remind yourself or get back on track does not compromise your presentation. It increases your credibility because it shows that you are prepared and have taken the time beforehand to organize your thoughts. The audience is judging your credibility on your topic, not your memory. Therefore, prepare your notes clearly so that you can tell when this happens.

2. Understand your nervousness

Speaking to a group should make you nervous because you’re taking away important time from people. The moment when speakers get most restless is when their nervousness takes them by surprise. They think, “I expected to be nervous, but I didn’t expect to be THAT nervous!” Experience has shown that we all have a particular audience that makes us feel more anxious than others. They can be friends, strangers, family members, colleagues, superiors or subordinates. Know which group is for you so you don’t get caught by surprise.

3. Control what you can

Many speakers say that the worst feeling is being ‘out of control’, with everyone watching. Standing in front of an audience will trigger the release of adrenaline. You have no control over this and it can result in speaking too fast, uncoordinated movements, a shaky voice, shortness of breath, dry mouth, flushing, sweating, and a myriad of other unfortunate symptoms. There are deliberate actions you can take to counteract this, to regain control. Calm down by taking a deep breath before you speak, slow down with a more measured deliberate walk to your speaking position, and have water nearby to drink if your mouth gets dry.

4. Stop trying to please everyone.

Granted, this may not count when you’re giving a wedding toast, but in business presentations, if you modify your speech to say only what everyone agrees with, it will be so soft that no one will want to listen. Presenting an alternative point of view and backing it up with a strong argument will always be more appealing than bland platitudes.

5. You don’t have to be the expert in the room

Some speakers convince themselves that to speak on a topic they must be the most knowledgeable in the room on that topic. not so Don’t try to play the expert. You have unique experiences and perspectives on the topic that provide valuable insights. This is your gift to the audience.

Nervousness when speaking to an audience is natural. Stop trying to avoid it and use these tips to make it work for you.