As we all know, relationships go through phases. There are the good times and the not so good times. It is quite seasonal in nature. In fact, we can’t really judge someone just because one season isn’t as good as the others … In truth, you won’t watch all the seasons unless you stick around. In fact, it may even pay off in the long run.
Using metaphors and analogies when dealing with relationships is great. Try not to define events … in fact, try to accept and understand them, it is much easier this way. Acceptance is a very beautiful thing. Other people’s virtues are just as important as yours and mine. During my years in high school and college I helped many friends, both women and men, they call me their love guru. All I did was listen, I never offered a solution until we both absolutely understood the problem.
I have listened and understood the male and female perspectives and guess what? … they are very, very similar. I’m not an expert on relationships, in fact, I really don’t think they exist, because every relationship and every person is unique and different. I like to say that wisdom is the best strategy to adopt when it comes to relationship problems. Understanding psychology is just scratching the surface and, in fact, using it incorrectly is just a manipulative tool that does not achieve love. I would suggest that while you give your woman time, be there for her when she is in a good mood and when she is bad. Be yourself and that’s the person you fell in love with.
So if you are now going through a season that may seem challenging and difficult with your respective other, don’t judge it, just accept it. Acceptance is a beautiful thing. Sometimes what is beautiful can be very difficult to describe. Even in the dark moments of life, there is beauty and I have seen it.
There are many ways to overcome the conflicts we experience in relationships, there is no golden rule. All those psychological articles and techniques to get your ex back are quite manipulative.
On my own [and others] life experience[s]Using those psychological tactics is rarely a loving way to have a peaceful relationship, they will only turn your love into a battlefield. However, Pat Benatar’s song is great!
So what do you do if your girlfriend needs time?
** Be realistic and be cool.
The word “cool” is your friend. What do we mean by “great”? Cool means refraining from acting irrationally and being needy. Let’s not put your needs over hers, in fact, the difficult times we go through in a relationship will define us, make us stronger. So be happy, make her happy, and show her that you really care about her while maintaining self-respect. Now let’s combine analogy and metaphor, using both wisdom as we understand basic psychology.
First of all, there is some wisdom, analogy, and metaphor; Love is like a tree, it needs sun, it needs “space”, it needs “time” to “grow”. Imagine this as a healthy tree and this healthy tree looks like your relationship. If you want the tree to grow, you cannot outshine it and block it from the sun’s rays, by not giving it space, time and sunlight, it will not grow. So try not to block her sunlight by always being close to her and not letting her use her own internal resources to solve her own problems. Now for the psychology part. We all have a tendency to move “toward” the things in life that we associate with pleasure, and we also have a tendency to “move away” from the things in life that we associate pain with. This is true. Have you been pushing her away?
** Show empathy and compassion.
Empathy. Put yourself in their shoes, what are you feeling right now? Can you relate to what is happening at work, home, friends, and most importantly, your relationship with her? If she is stressed, don’t stress her anymore, instead make every encounter a relaxing experience with her, not only will you make her happy, but you will also be able to show her why you are together and that you are so great, she is actually reinforcing. his initial reason for why he loves you. Remember she loved[s] you for a reason. I’m very sure you made her happy and excited when she met you, it’s so easy to do it again and better. Why? Because you share the story and you are a great person. Add value constantly and don’t be afraid to lose it and see what happens.
The word “love”. This word has many meanings and is often abused, deceived, or scared. Well, love is everywhere and it is not a definable feeling. Even if your girlfriend hasn’t told you that I love you, that doesn’t mean she won’t. Love expresses itself in many ways. Express your love for her by being patient and accepting of her just the way she is, even if she’s being really cold right now. Guys, I quote: “Love is not seeing a perfect person, it is seeing an” imperfect “person perfectly.”
** Go out with your friends or plan a getaway with them.
I am very sure that you will feel refreshed sitting in a spa, having a few drinks having a barbecue and just relaxing. You will discover that the person you were when you met your girlfriend was an outgoing and independent person, do not lose that independence. If you’re having a drink with the kids, stay safe and don’t overdo it – have fun!
** When he talks to you.
Listen to her. Stay still. Look her in the eye and don’t interrupt her. Answer all of your questions and be honest.
Maintaining eye contact will create a deeper understanding, in fact, she will really feel heard. Use empathetic communication. that is, “yeah, from what you’re saying, you must really feel …” Don’t engage in a solution-based conversation until you both really understand the whole problem. Let her talk and talk and talk, even if you don’t like what she is saying. Sometimes I make this mistake too, I just ramble.
When it’s time to go your separate ways wherever you are, give him a hug if that’s all he likes right now, don’t go kiss him. You will find that over time it will kiss you on the cheek and then slowly it will open. Say goodnight or what you usually say and thank him for coming out of the closet. The same goes for your phone calls.
** Make her feel like a great girlfriend.
There is nothing worse than for a woman to think that she has been a horrible witch to her boyfriend. Yes, they feel bad if they hurt you. I’m serious. Whenever she apologizes, forgive her, if she’s wrong, apologize too. This is the beginning of a healing. Tell her that you think she’s cool even if she’s really upset you in the last few weeks.
** Make her laugh.
It’s okay to act funny in a manly way. I tend to repeat something and change my tone making it fun. Women love this. Remember that girls want to have fun, just like us boys.
** Don’t make her jealous by using other women.
Yes, jealousy is a very strong motivator to bring someone home, but jealousy can erode her judgment and make her react for the wrong reason and it won’t be out of love, I can assure you. I believe in two forms of jealousy, they are the good guys and the bad guys. Good jealousy is usually when we have a small sense of it, but it stops immediately at that moment and does not intoxicate your relationship. You feel a certain emotion but it makes you recognize that you have emotion there.
The good thing happens with jealousy while you’re in a relationship and it doesn’t undermine your respect for yourself or theirs. Bad jealousy will do the exact opposite, it continues and plagues your relationship causing suspicion, mistrust and obviously insecurity. Do not play with jealousy, especially with your girlfriend to make her feel jealous, it is more powerful than you think and could bite back.
** Don’t give him an ultimatum.
The worst thing you can do is give her a time limit on how long you are going to stay or for her to make a decision. I warn you that you will be the loser. Ultimatums rarely work and this is due to my experience as a lawyer and my understanding of having a win-win situation. If you use an ultimatum, consider it a lose-lose situation.
It’s perfectly okay for you to tell him that you are hurt and frustrated and that the relationship is not what you really want. You could certainly tell him that you will not stay if he is still cold. You have the right to make your decisions and act accordingly (if you go this way, you obviously would have thought about it and really want to get things done.). Do not say this to manipulate her and bring her back, she could chase you but it will not be out of love, it will be out of fear. Trust me, acting out of love is much better for a long-term, peaceful relationship.
** Be strong!
It is a requirement. I have not seen this in any online post. This is not only important to you as a man, but it is important for her to see that you are her rock. If one day he will marry you and have your children, he does not want someone who cannot control his emotions and acts like a little boy. Being strong doesn’t just make her feel supported, it exudes confidence in the right way.
** Keep your balance, exercise, read, and eat well.
Stay up-to-date on world events, read a novel, work out at the gym, and eat well. You’ll look better, you’ll feel better, and you’ll also be busy keeping busy. This is not only important for your own well-being, it is attractive as you have a world outside of theirs.
The reason why your girlfriend needs time may not be just because of you, but because of her, respect that. Be open to what you say and let him work things out his way and give him as much time as he wants. If you wanted time and were in their situation, would you want your girlfriend to make demands on you? Treat others how you want to be treated and trust me, that’s an easy but bulletproof strategy for your relationship.